Finding the right mattress for you and your partner has more to it than just picking a comfort level that sounds nice and feels okay in the showroom. You can customize your experience with toppers or different pillows, but sometimes couples just sleep differently, making the search for the perfect mattress more difficult.
We checked in with three couples to learn about those differences that can make finding the ideal mattress a little more challenging. Read on to hear from Rose, Audrey, and Beth about their family’s sleep habits and their solutions for a better night’s sleep.
1. Rose and Matthew have a preschooler, a kindergartner, and a puppy at home.
2. Audrey and Tom have a preschooler, a baby, and two dogs.
3. Beth and John have six cats and no kids (yet).
First, we asked about general bedtime routines.
Do you and your partner go to bed at the same time?
Audrey and Rose both said no, while Beth tries to time bedtime with her husband so they can wind down and fall asleep at a similar time.
Rose: I typically get up 1 to 2 hours earlier than my husband so I go to bed earlier most days. He also seems to thrive on less sleep and prefers to only get 6-7 hours of sleep a night. I need my full 8 to be able to motivate myself to exercise in the morning.
Beth: It’s really common for him to stay up in bed reading, but I try to get us both in bed at the same time. During the week we don’t have a lot of time to spend together so I like to spend those last few minutes of the evening together. If I’m working in our office, he will sometimes go to bed before me and I’ll find him already asleep.
Do you have a bedtime routine or ritual?
No one reported any special bedtime routine that they do consistently.
Audrey: Makeup off, contacts out, teeth brushed, and into bed!
Rose: I’m pretty bad at remembering to do anything before bed. It’s hard to create new habits
Beth: It’s less of a ritual and more of a “things that need to happen” procedure. I brush my teeth and scoop the litter box before bed. I’d love to get in the habit of taking a bath every night, because when I do make the time for it, it’s so relaxing and I know I sleep better. Sleep health is an area where I am seriously lacking lately.
We also investigated screen time issues that might be affecting sleep.
Do you have a TV in your bedroom?
Rose and Audrey both have a TV, while Beth does not.
Audrey: It’s only on when I go to bed. I watch a few minutes before I fall asleep. If I don’t turn it off, Tom does when he comes to bed.
Rose: When Matthew does go to bed as the same time as me, he usually wants to watch TV. I can only tolerate it for about 20 minutes.
Beth: We don’t have a TV. We do use our smart devices in bed though, which is probably just as bad.
Do you use smartphones or tablets in bed?
Rose: I use a tablet and my husband doesn’t use anything. We both leave our phones downstairs at night, but I like to play a game or two before bed, or sometimes I read. I’ve been known to fall asleep holding the tablet and it’s fallen on my nose and left a bruise.
Audrey: I always do one last check of the day before bed!
Beth: We both check our phones in bed and my husband uses an iPad as well to read comics or check social media when he can’t sleep. It’s something I am trying to stop doing because I’ll get sucked in and suddenly it’s way past the time I should have been asleep if I expect to be a functional human the next day.
Then we got into the his & hers sleep habits that can make sleeping comfortably a challenge.
Do you sleep hot or cold? What about your spouse?
Beth: I’m always freezing, so I sleep with a warm duvet. My husband runs hot and he can sleep without a blanket at all.
Audrey: I tend to sleep cold and Tom sleeps hot.
Rose: I sleep cold and he sleeps hot, so we compromise with a twin size heated blanket that I use in the winter on my side of the bed.
Do you wake easily or are you a heavy sleeper?
Rose: We both wake easily for certain things and have learned to ignore others.When the kids were babies, I woke to every noise they made through the monitor and cared for almost all their feeding and sleepless nights. Now, we consider it Matthew’s turn so most nights he takes care of any nighttime requests.
I do wake up to the alarm in a moment because I don’t want to wake anyone else. I never hit the snooze button and have it turned over within just a couple beeps across the room. Matthew can sleep through my alarm and sometimes doesn’t know when I’ve been out for an early run.
Now we’re trying to teach our puppy to sleep upstairs in our room, and her barking in the middle of the night will have us startled out of bed in a second.
Audrey: I wake easy and Tom sleeps heavy. Not much wakes him up. I’m the one getting up at night if the kids need something.
Beth: We seem to have a filter that lets us tune out normal noises, but something out of the ordinary will wake us up.
Do you like to cuddle during sleep?
Beth: I like to cuddle but he doesn’t like any contact during sleep. It took me a long time to not think he was mad when he turned away from me to sleep, but now I know that’s just how he sleeps.
Rose: I like to cuddle when I’m cold, but he never wants to cuddle unless he’s looking to get something else out of it. We’ve fallen asleep cuddling maybe twice in the nine years we’ve been together.
Audrey: Neither of us are big cuddlers. Sometimes we might cuddle for a minute, but then we get uncomfortable and return to our normal sleeping positions.
Do you sleep with your pets?
Audrey: No, our dogs have their own super plush beds and they stay in their own space for bedtime.
Rose: Not anymore! We used to sleep with a 130 pound mastiff, and I was miserable. When we moved, I insisted on changing this sleeping arrangement. She was such a smart dog and did really well with the change.
Beth: Yep, anywhere from one to five cats will join us in bed. Two of them like to sleep on us or cuddled close, but the rest are content to sleep on their cat trees or at the foot of the bed.
Do you lie still, or toss and turn?
Rose: I usually sleep on my side and have to turn at least once or twice before I settle. Some nights I don’t remember a thing, and other nights I notice every time I turn over. Matthew also does some shifting, but neither of us are hitting each other anymore now that we have more space between our pillows.
Audrey: We both mostly lie still.
Beth: I lie so still while sleeping that John has admitted to checking on me to make sure I’m still breathing. He tosses and turns. Sometimes I wake up to find his feet at the head of the bed because he completely turned around.
We found a wide variety of differences between these three couples, some were toss-and-turners and some were still sleepers. Everyone we interviewed tended to be cold while their husbands slept warm (cue jealousy). Next we asked about their sleeping environment.
What size bed do you have? Is it too big, small, or just right?
Beth: We have a Cal King, which replaced a King mattress. I miss the extra width of the King size mattress but overall it’s good.
Audrey: We have a Queen size. Sometimes it feels too small but it’s not a big issue.
Rose: We have a King, and it’s just right.
Do you share a blanket?
Beth: Not at all. He has a thin quilt and I use a heavy duvet. We sleep pretty far apart in bed so trying to both stay under one blanket with the way he moves around would leave me blanket-less and would give him more stuff to kick off the bed. For my sanity, we have separate blankets.
Rose: We share sheets and a comforter, but I have my own heated blanket in the winter.
Audrey: Yes, we share!
Do you both prefer the same mattress firmness level?
Audrey: Yes, we’re both happy with the same comfort level.
Rose: Yes, we both have the same preference.
Beth: We have similar preferences. Our mattress now is cushion firm and it took us a while to break in and make it a little softer. I think we’d both prefer a softer firmness level.
Which Couple is Most Like You?
Are you and your partner a hot and cold couple? Does one sleep still while the other tosses and turns? Lucky for both of you, the Naturepedic EOS series is here to help.
Tossing and Turning: Choosing an EOS Classic or EOS Pillow Top will reduce motion transfer with our premium encased coil design. Additionally, all EOS models queen or larger have split configurations. This means that you and your sleep partner have totally different halves of the mattress, so you will feel less motion transfer when your partner changes position. You won’t rock the boat when you build a dual comfort design.
Hot or Cold: The EOS Trilux helps you sleep cooler, as our organic latex is naturally temperature regulating. While none of our EOS models “sleep hot,” many find that the latex helps them sleep especially cooler.
Comfort Zones: When one of you likes a soft mattress and the other likes firm comfort, there’s an EOS for that. Any of our models can be customized from firm to plush or anywhere in between with a variety of support and comfort layer components on either side of the bed.
Changing Preferences: If you’re afraid you or your partner will change your mind about your custom mattress, you really don’t need to worry. Comfort layer swaps are free within the first 90 days. You just pay shipping. After that, if you want to change or replace any individual component of your mattress, you can do so without needing to design a whole new mattress. Order firmer or softer support or comfort layers as your needs change over time. It’s easier on your finances and the planet.
To find the perfect fit that’s just right, learn more about the EOS series, each with customizable comfort options that let you build the mattress of your dreams that’s perfect for you and your partner.
Let us know in the comments which couple you and your partner are most like!